“Be calm to help kids cope with tragic events” SF Chronicle, Dr. Winston Chung http://www.sfgate.com/health/article/Be-mindful-when-talking-tragedy-with-children-4682499.php offers advice on the importance of parents talking with children to help them better understand and cope with tragedy.
A parent’s tendency to want to protect their child from unpleasant emotions is understandable but brain science tells us to take a different approach.
Children are right hemisphere dominant, which is interested in emotions and the meaning and feel of an experience. The left hemisphere likes to know the linear cause-effect relationships in the world and uses language to express that logic. Each part of the brain does their unique job but they also need to work together as a whole to function well, for a child to thrive both emotionally and intellectually.
When a child’s brain is not integrated, the child becomes overwhelmed by their emotions, which feels chaotic and confusing. Re-telling the story of a frightening or painful experience helps integrate the brain. Talking with children about what happened and how they felt when they fell and scraped a knee, or faced a bully at school, or were disappointed they don’t make the team—all these experiences bring on strong emotions. The re-telling of what happened brings the left side of the brain into the picture and helps a child tame and name the emotions they are experiencing. Empathy and perspective springs from that experience.
